Issue No. 13: Put Down the Dahmer Glasses
I don't care how trendy they are, you look like a serial killer
The time of year is upon us when my clients start traveling to warmer climates and asking about all the heat friendly clothes and accoutrements that go along with it. This inevitably means: sunglasses. As a prescription glasses wearer myself, I maintain a pretty timeless approach to my frames considering I have to pay some ungodly price anytime I want a new pair, which is why I keep it simple: a modified acetate rectangle for my optical glasses, and a cross between a wayfarer and a cat eye for my sunglasses, both from Oliver People’s.
Increasingly, men in media and fashion are taking to a particular style of frames that I can only classify as: Jeffrey Dahmer glasses. I’m reluctant to ~name names~ but I’ve seen them on news anchors, roughly 70% of the style influencers on my instagram timeline, and a few too many celebrities with stylists who should know better.
If you don’t know what I’m talking about (first of all, congratulations): it’s a modified aviator frame. The lenses and frames are rectangular, sometimes acetate, sometimes metal. And I’ve seen them in both optical and sun iterations, the former even less palatable than the latter. In essence, they look something like this:
More stylized variations of this particular shape might appear suspiciously trendy: there’s one particular news anchor who wears a dark brown acetate version; an an otherwise perfectly groomed and styled male celeb was recently out wearing a black pair with lenses tinted slightly orange. A few style influencers whose names I will spare are under the impression they can pull off all clear acetate optical frames in this shape.
I understand, to some extent, the appeal. The aviator is a tried and true style and it’s a common mechanism of the trend cycle to take a staid item and mix it up. And under other circumstances, that can suit. But here, it’s ill advised. At best, you look like a creep. At worst you look like one of the most notorious cannibals in history.
Instead, I’d urge you to consider that the aviator frame is as enduring and pervasive as it is because it is not a style that needs must in the way of improvement. Two good aviator north stars are Joe Biden (for sunglasses) and Robert Redford in Three Days of the Condor (for optical) and Steve McQueen in the Thomas Crown Affair (for acetate.)
I’d also like to dispel the notion that there is a version of [insert particular style of glasses] for everyone. Some faces are simply not structured to carry an aviator the same way some faces are not structured to carry a round acetate frame. And even if you can, doesn’t mean you should — take it from Cary Grant, whose face could carry a potato sack and look incredible.
